Redneck Jokes

I know you've all heard them, redneck jokes. They started like 15 years ago but for some reason they keep cycling through my inbox despite the constant efforts to delete (thanks).

Well, this morning I had a revelation, an epiphany of sorts. Don't you think that most of the jokes are written by observers rather than the rednecks themselves? I mean if they were written by actual rednecks, the wording and spelling would be way different. But then, just about that time in my epiphany, I came up with a few of my own.


1. You know you're a redneck when..... All of your pants (and even some of your skirts) have holes in the same spot where they got ripped climbing over the barbed wire fence to beat the crap out of your buck (named Noodle) because he rammed you AGAIN.

2. You know you're a redneck when.... Your son and your sheep drink out of the same container.

3. You know you're a redneck when.... Number 3 on your chore list is to walk the lamb.

4. You know you're a redneck when... Your neck is totally sunburned but your back is flourescent white. Now, this is where Sam redeems himself, he is actually a dark bronze all over (or as my neighbor Erika told me one day, "Sam is the tannest mormon I know"). In fact, she thought he was naked one day when he was walking around in tan river shorts (well, actually, he was naked but she doesn't have to know that).

So, I was wrong. Rednecks can have decent wording and spelling.